Self-love

Someone dear to me asked me one time to write something about self-love.
She said she has seen a lady speaking about loving herself more after being ditched by her boyfriend for another woman. And yes, it is a crude but rather sad reality that sometimes, there are people – both men and women alike- who love their partners more than they love themselves. And when this happens, they tend to sacrifice their own personal desires just to satisfy their partners — leading to self-reproach when their partners find their efforts lacking despite the sacrifices and self-emptying actions that they have done for the relationship.

So what is self-love?

According to Oxford, self-love refers to “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness”. It is putting an effort to appreciate oneself and working towards personal growth.

Additionally, Merriam-Webster states that demonstrating self-love is being attentive to one’s own happiness and appreciating one’s own worth. It is like being your own best friend and being your own cheerleader.

So, how does one demonstrate self-love?

Does self-love mean that you commit to self-centeredness and work towards your own happiness only?
On the contrary, by practicing self-love, you will learn to look at yourself better, which will lead to healthier relationships and better performance either at work or at school.
So, here are simple ways on how you can practice self-love starting today.

1. Accept and appreciate yourself.

Learn to appreciate your own strengths and capabilities. Accept what you are good at and work towards improving yourself.
When you hear yourself criticizing yourself, stop, breathe, and work towards creating a plan for self-improvement.

Similarly, when you see yourself fall into the trap of comparing yourself with someone better, pause, reflect on your own abilities, and repeat self-affirming mantras, like “I am beautiful. I am good at my work. I am a great friend.”

2. Prioritize your needs.

The famous cliche says that “you cannot give what you don’t have”. You cannot demonstrate love if you yourself do not shower yourself with love. So, it is good to prioritize your needs so that you can take care of others’ needs, too.
There is nothing wrong with saying no to others if it means that you can have something done for yourself first.

If you are a mother, you can occasionally say no to playdates so that you have time to read, or have an extra sip of coffee.
Similarly, if you are an employee, you can use your day off for pampering yourself instead of saying yes to an extra shift at work.
By committing to putting your needs first, you will feel happier in lending an extra hand to whoever may need it at the end of the day.

3. Let go of negative self-talk.

Refrain from indulging in guilt trips over bygone wrongs that you went through. Forgive yourself for hullaballoos that you started in the past. Instead, tell yourself that you have developed your character through the years, and that you are a better version of yourself now.
As the famous cliche goes, “your past does not define you”, and it is always good to let go of negative self-talk and work towards affirming yourself for the efforts that you do to become a better person.

4. Enjoy your me time.

There are many ways that you can spend quality time with yourself. You can enjoy a cup of coffee by yourself while reading a good book, you can stay outdoors and meditate with nature, or you can simply mooch at an unfamiliar place and learn something new.

I know enjoying your own free time can be a long shot for some people (like mothers who are constantly busy with family life, or high-ranking employees who are immersed in their work), but it is good to set aside even an hour or so during the week just to enjoy your own company.
In this way, you will learn more about yourself and appreciate aspects of yourself that you did not know yet before. I hope that you learned about self-love and that you can work on some of the self-love practices that I outlined in this article. I sincerely hope that through this reading, you will appreciate yourself more to add an extra boost to your confidence.
Remember, you can be your own best friend and cheerleader, and there is no other time to start it than now.
There you go! I wish all of us the best! Let us all inspire each other to become the best moms that we can be to our children!