One Saturday morning, Tala came up to me and asked me, “Nay, do you have an invisible bucket, too?”
I had no idea what she was talking about, and when I asked her about what an invisible bucket is, she just said, “Nothing! Never mind!” And I continued with what I was doing.
That same day, Tala was feeling upset because she was feeling bored at home. She wanted to play with me, but I said that I will play with her after I finish my coffee.
Then there it is. She said, “MY BUCKET IS SPILLING.”
There she got my attention, and I asked her, “What do you mean? What is an invisible bucket and what does a spilling bucket mean?”
And so, she explained everything to me.
On the Power of Stories
Tala shared with me how Ms. Michelle, her Grade 1 teacher, read to them a book about a boy who had an invisible bucket on his head. This bucket becomes full when he feels happy, and it becomes empty when he feels sad.
Tala cited examples from the book, like how the boy’s bucket spilled when he dropped his cereals (drip) and when his little sister knocked over the tower he built (drip).
But on the other hand, the boy’s bucket slowly got filled when his teacher praised him (drop) or when he was kind to others (drop).
I instantly understood the metaphor of having an invisible bucket and how powerful it is in helping kids visualize their emotions and the feelings of others, too.
Also Read: It’s Okay to Feel Sad
Filling Other People’s Buckets
I asked Tala, “What happens when your bucket becomes really full?”
Tala thought for a second and she said, “You can share the droplets on your bucket so other people’s buckets can be full, too!”
Wow, this is next-level!
Imagine a first-grader understanding the gravity of their actions on other people’s feelings? It just shows that with the right attack, young kids can learn the values of empathy and compassion, and maybe there will be less bullying and more care at school.
Yes, let us be bucket-fillers and let’s see how this fills our own buckets, too!
Challenge to Parents
I read from a parenting article that if we want to have a happy, trusting, and peaceful home environment, it is essential to remember these 3 important parts of the day with our kids: before sleep, after waking up, and after being away for long hours.
It is important for us parents to put droplets of water on their invisible buckets before they sleep, the moment they wake up, and after school when they have been away from us for 7 to 8 hours.
How do we do that?
Before Bedtime
We can fill our children’s invisible buckets before bedtime by doing these:
- Reading a bedtime story to them
- Giving them a massage
- Saying nighttime prayers with them
- Giving cuddles and goodnight kisses
- Saying I love you
Wake Up Time
We can fill our children’s invisible buckets during wakeup time by doing these:
- Giving good morning kisses and cuddles
- Giving them enough time to prepare for school.
- Don’t rush them. If they need an hour to eat breakfast, shower, and brush their teeth, then wake them up earlier than usual
- Giving goodbye kisses and cuddles before dropping them off to school
- Saying I love you and you’ll do great in school!
After Being Away for Long Hours
We can fill our children’s invisible buckets after being away for hours by doing these:
- Giving I miss you hugs
- Asking them about their day. Listen without judgement
- Preparing their favorite snack
- Playing their favorite games, either indoor or outdoor
- Spending time together doing what makes both of you happy!
Also Read: 4 Things to Say to our Kids Every Day
Keeping Our Own Buckets Full
As parents, we also have our own invisible buckets! We should always assess if our buckets are nearly full or nearly empty before we interact with our children.
Our buckets spill when things don’t go our way at work (drip), or when there is a terrible traffic jam on our way home(drip), or when the barista didn’t get our coffee orders right(drip), or when we feel fat and ugly when we have our monthly period (drip).
Chances are, when we interact with our children with a nearly empty bucket, we easily flare up, we get angry at the slightest noises, and we get easily annoyed just by their mere childish personalities!
But it is not our children’s fault that we had a bad day at work. And WE SHOULD NOT BURDEN OUR KIDS OR OUR HUBBIES TO FILL OUR OWN BUCKETS.
We should fill our own buckets.
How?
By doing what makes us happy!
Have a yummy snack (drop). Drink your favorite coffee (drop). Get a massage (drop). Have your nails done (drop). Talk to a friend (drop). Watch a movie (drop). Sing a song (drop). Cook (drop). Bake (drop). Work out (drop). Be kind to someone (drop).
Also Read: Self-Love for Women
What’s Next?
I highly recommend the book How Full is Your Bucket? For Kids written by Tom Rath and Mary Rackmeyer. You can order it from Amazon by clicking this link.
The book is very-well written, and the illustrations are just perfect! Kids can also easily relate to the story because it uses situations that nearly every child experiences at home and at school at one point.
We have been applying this philosophy at home. We constantly ask each other, “How is your bucket today?” and as for me, I make sure that my bucket is full or nearly full before I get my daughter from school. In this way, we only have laughter, cuddles, games, and stories before dinner time!
Remember, this is Moms Inspiring Moms! Let us be the reason that someone gets inspired today, and that someone’s bucket gets filled today.
