There are many things about life that we already know, but there are a few things in life that should be highlighted in order to catch our attention.
Why? Because these may already be too obvious that we do not give them much thought anymore.
Just like these five painful truths about life that we need to take note of.
It may be a paradox, but accepting these painful truths can actually lead to a happy life.
Painful Truth # 1: You are not everyone’s cup of tea.
Painful truth # 1 says that you are not everyone’s cup of tea. Not everyone you interact with will like you.
We already know this. But we sometimes forget that not everyone will appreciate us. To the point that we do all sorts of things to make other people like us. Does this resonate with you?
Well, it is time to accept this painful truth that you cannot please anyone. The same way that not everyone is appealing to you.
With this, I remember Ed Sheeran saying that “I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone”.
It is true! Wanting everyone to like you will not happen. It will just frustrate you and annoy other people who see how you try hard to make everyone like you.
What’s important is that you like yourself, you are happy with who you are, and that you are not hurting anyone in the process of liking yourself.
Painful Truth # 2: With great freedom comes great responsibility.
We demand freedom over our lives. In most cases, we want to make our own choices and decisions in life.
Well, the painful truth is that the more freedom you have, the more responsibility you have, too.
Freedom is not free. The more you exercise your freedom, the greater price of personal responsibility is at stake.
This means that you are in charge of all the consequences of your actions.
If you are a student who feels free to skip a class, then you are personally responsible for all the lessons that you missed for the day.
If you are a parent who chooses to yell at your kids for their misbehavior, then you should be ready for louder tantrums or further disconnection from your kids.
At the end of the day, we all make personal choices and decisions. It is just a painful reality that there are consequences to our actions that we are personally responsible for.
Yes, our circumstances are beyond our control, but we always have a choice on how to deal with our circumstances.
Painful Truth # 3: You always have a choice.
You may say that I did not choose to have a congenital disease… or an unfaithful spouse… or a disrespectful boss.
Just like Stephen Covey’s 1st Habit of Highly Effective People says, there are some things that are beyond your control, while some are within your circle of influence.
You cannot control how your disrespectful boss talks to you, but you can choose to take the higher road and be the best employee at work, or you can also choose to free yourself from this turmoil and look for a better job.
Painful Truth # 3 says that you always have a choice. And you cannot ever say “I had no choice!” because the painful reality is that there were plenty of choices to deliberate from, and you chose to take one road instead of the other.
Painful Truth # 4: Your feelings stem from your thoughts.
Painful Truth # 4 states that our thoughts direct our feelings, and not the other way around.
We grew up thinking that everything comes from our feelings, but the painful truth is that everything starts from our thoughts.
The way we think influences the way we feel, and the way we feel directs how we act in given situations.
Three weeks ago, my 5-year-old daughter started Kindergarten. In the first week of school, she shared that school is so fun and that she was so excited to play in the playground with her friends.
In the second week of school, her disposition suddenly changed. She did not want to go to school and was scared of playing in the playground because there were big kids playing with them.
All Kindergartners shared the playground with bigger kids during the first week and second week of school. But why did her feelings shift from excited to scared after a week?
Your guess is as good as mine. It’s because of the thoughts in her head!
True enough, my daughter said that during the first week of school, she was so excited for school because she was thinking that it is fun to play with her friends.
But the second week, when she realized that there are big kids who are mighty and scary who might hurt them, she started to become anxious. She cried in school and wanted to go home.
After empowering her to do different strategies in school, she realized that the big kids may be big, but they are just playing and have no intention of hurting them. With an “I can handle this!” attitude, her behavior changed in the 3rd week of school.
| Thoughts | Feeling | Behavior | |
| 1st Week | It is fun to play with my friends! | excited | plays happily with friends |
| 2nd Week | The big kids in the playground are scary. | anxious | cries in school |
| 3rd week | The big kids are playing, too. They will not hurt me in any way. | empowered | Plays happily with friends |
This is just an illustration of how our thoughts influence our feelings and eventually, our behavior.
So, guard your thoughts, because everything stems from them.
Painful Truth # 5: Fear keeps you from living your best lives.
Painful Truth # 5 is related to Painful Truth # 4.
What is fear? It is a feeling. And fear is usually caused by a thought of being unsafe.
The feeling of fear causes you to get stuck. And eventually prevents you from living your best life.
There are many things that we would love to do, but we do not do because of fear.
And once our brain sends signals that we are unsafe or in danger, then we step on the brakes of our lives and just stop living our best lives.
Maybe you want to start a business, but the fear of failure keep you stuck.
Maybe you wanted to try traveling to a different country by yourself, but thoughts of “can I do it?” constantly bombard your brain.
It is understandable that when we want to venture into something new, there are apprehensions that make us scared to move forward, but how would we keep on letting fear take hold of our lives?
But, the painful truth is, where will life lead you if you constantly keep fear guiding your life?
What should you do, then?
Challenge your thoughts. Carefully research about what you want to do.
Is there a real danger in front of you?
If yes, what measures can you do to protect yourself from these dangers?
Clear up your own head and stop playing it safe!
Get out of there!
Live your life to the fullest!
It is worth it!
Call to Action
Are these truths really too painful?
I think you already knew them even before you read this article.
We just have to be real about it, accept these truths, and live a happy life!
We have been given different talents and gifts, and let us use these to shine on purpose!
