A year ago, I came across an online bookstore that sells children’s books. Among the numerous books that it sells, what caught my attention is the book 7 Habits of Happy Kids by  Sean Covey. 

As a fan of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, you can just imagine my joy when I saw this book, most especially that at that time, Tala was experiencing some form of anxiety over starting Kindergarten and having difficulties finding friends to constantly play with. 

After a discussion with my husband, I ordered the book, which got delivered a day after. For those in Phnom Penh, you can order the book here. Otherwise, the book is available on Amazon. 

When I showed Tala the book, she showed me her typical “I-will-be-nonchalant-before-excited” attitude. She looked at the book cover, said “thank you”, and went on with her own business. 

An hour after, as expected, she took the book from the shelf, examined it, and quietly flipped through the pages. 

Then she said, in her excited voice, “Nay, chapter book pala to e.” (Nay, this is a chapter book!) She loves chapter books, especially Rebecca Elliott’s Unicorn Diaries and Owl Diaries, so I knew that the book finally caught her fancy.

And this started our journey with Sean Covey’s 7 Habits of Happy Kids. 

We have been applying the habits in our daily conversations and actions, and this has done wonders for Tala and our little family. 

What can we expect from the book?

This book is a beautifully illustrated book that highlights how 7 characters from the 7 Oaks community face challenges and interact harmoniously despite their individual differences. 

There are 7 chapters in the book, with each chapter focusing on one habit. Each chapter starts off with a story highlighting an issue or a concern that a character in the 7 Oaks community experiences. This issue will be resolved through applying the habit that the chapter focuses on. 

After each story, there is a Parent’s Corner with questions that both parents and kids can answer. In this part, the child can share their insights and understanding about the habit discussed. Finally, there are some suggestions called Baby Steps wherein the kids can slowly apply the habit in their daily lives. 

How did we go about reading the book?

Tala and I read one habit at a time. After discussing it, we smoothly integrate this habit in our daily activities and conversations until we feel that the habit is already mastered. 

Before we move on to the next habit, I ask her first about how she thinks she is faring on the habit we are currently working on. She usually gives me an honest self-evaluation, which becomes the basis of her readiness to move on to the next habit. 

What are the 7 Habits of Happy Kids?

In this part, I will talk about the 7 Habits of Happy Kids, how Tala shows each habit, how we keep each habit alive in our daily conversations and activities, and sample statements showing how kids exemplify each habit. 

Habit 1: You’re In Charge. Be Proactive

Habit 1 focuses on helping kids remember that they are in charge of their own happiness. In the story Bored, bored, bored, Sammy the Squirrel blamed everyone around him for his boredom. Instead of thinking of how he can make himself happy, Sammy kept on depending on other people for his own happiness. As such, Habit 1 is You are in charge! Make your own fun! Take charge of your own happiness! 

Application at home…

At home, you will always hear us say “Make your own fun!” This is our way of empowering Tala to take charge of her own happiness. As an only child, she used to struggle with thinking of what to do during solitary play. In fact, she could not do solitary play. But now that she has mastered Habit 1: Be Proactive, she can already “invent games” that she can do by herself when I am busy with chores or with work. 

Here are also some ways that we empower Tala to be proactive:

• Is there something that you’ve always been scared to try? Have an “I can do it” mentality and go for it.
• When someone is being mean to you, say “Stop being mean.”
• You always have a choice to move away if somebody is making you upset. 

Masters of this habit say:

•  I can choose my actions and attitudes.
• I do not blame other people for my behavior.
• I make my own fun.

Habit 2: Have a Plan. Begin with the End in Mind

Habit 2 focuses on having goals and making a plan to accomplish these. In the story Goob and the Bug-Collecting Kit, Goob made a plan to save enough money to buy a toy that he has been wanting to have. He decided to sell lemonade, and he was able to buy the toy he wanted! This story shows kids that if you have a goal in mind, make a plan on how you can accomplish it. 

Application at home…

At home, Tala has become an expert in making plans. Actually, even before we read this story, Tala has already been practicing this, probably both my husband and I love making plans and have transferred this trait to her. I can say that our lives have been less stressful and more manageable because we allow Tala to be part of our planning sessions. What to eat for breakfast, where to go on the weekend, what time to sleep at night — Tala is part of planning our day. 

Here are some ways that Tala exemplifies Habit # 2:

• She prepares her school clothes for the next two days so there is no time wasted choosing clothes to wear in the mornings.
• She practices her cartwheels and handstands because it is her goal to be better at these before she reaches 7 years old. 
• She has a planner where she writes down important events, like playdates or party schedules.

Masters of this habit say:

•  I can set goals and make plans.
• I stick to my plans because I want to accomplish my goal.

Habit 3: Work First, Then Play. First Things First. 

Habit 3 focuses on doing important things first. In the story Pokey and the Spelling Test, Pokey failed her spelling test because she chose to play first until she ran out of time studying for her spelling test. This story shows that when kids learn to prioritize, they will be able to finish important things first before other things. Work first before play!

Application at home…

At home, you will always hear us say “first things first”. We show Tala that even parents have to put first things first, meaning that we do first the things we HAVE TO DO before doing the things that we WANT TO DO.

Here are some ways that Tala shows Habit # 3:

• She packs away her toys first before watching a show on TV.
• She puts her clothes in the cabinet first before playing.

Masters of this habit say:

• I spend time on important things. 
• I work first before I play.

Habit 4: Everyone can win. Think win-win. 

Habit 4 focuses on having a winning attitude.  In the story Lily Plants a Garden, Lily discusses with her mother how both of them will benefit from having a garden at home. She highlighted that this idea will make both of them happy. This shows that kids, at an early age, can already find solutions that will make everyone happy. Decisions where everyone is smiling in the end is the best solution!

It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking win-lose. Sometimes, in our own stubbornness, we think only of ourselves without considering our action’s impact on others. As parents, we usually assert our power over kids and end up with a win-lose scenario. Therefore, it is important for us to show our kids that it can happen that everyone can win, and not just one person! Challenging, but doable!

Application at home…

Just yesterday, Tala and I were having a discussion about a dilemma that she has at school. 

Tala wanted to befriend a new student, but her current friend stops her from doing it by saying, “If you play with her, you will not be my friend anymore!” We discussed how they can have a win-win scenario in this problem. Finally, Tala said that she can say to her current friend, “You can join us in our game” or “We can all play together”! Indeed, everyone can win! 

Masters of this habit say:

• I make decisions where everyone is happy.

Habit 5: Listen Before You Talk. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Habit 5 talks about the importance of active listening. This means that to be happy, it is important for kids to learn to listen not only with their ears, but also with their eyes and their hearts. In the story Jumper and the Lost Butterfly Net, Jumper failed to understand what his friend Allie was saying because he was not attentive to her feelings, actions, and tone.

Listening with our ears is not good enough. We listen to others by looking at their body language, figuring out their feelings when they talk. How wonderful it would be if everyone would learn to listen empathetically while they are young!

Application at home…

• We use words such as “You look upset” or “you look worried” to signify that we are listening with our eyes and our hearts
• We try our best to listen to Tala without passing judgement.
• Whenever Tala is about to start a tantrum, we tell her that “we know you are tired, or hungry, or upset. Do you want a hug? You can tell us what you need.” 

Masters of this habit say:

• I listen to other people’s ideas and feelings.
• I look people in the eye while talking.
• I am confident in expressing my feelings and ideas. 

Habit 6: Together is Better. Synergize

Habit 6 talks about the importance of working together. In the story The Big Badgers, all the players in the soccer team used their individual strengths to win the game. They realized that they could not score a point when they were working alone. This shows the beauty of collaboration and cooperation. It also shows the importance of knowing your own unique strength so that you know how you can contribute to a team. 

Application at home…

• When we clean up our house, we always chant “Together is better!” Indeed, work becomes faster when we help each other.
• We base our chores and responsibilities on what we can do best.
• Tala slowly acknowledges the things that she can do by herself and shows confidence in doing it to help at home.

Masters of this habit say:

• I value other people’s strengths.
• I get along well with people who are different from me.
• I work well in groups.
• I listen to other people’s ideas and solutions.

Habit 7: Balance Feels Best. Sharpening the Saw

Habit 7 focuses on the importance of having a balanced life. In the story Sleepy Sophie, Sophie, an avid reader, focused her energy on reading throughout the day, even during sleeping time. As such, she missed out on other important things, such as spending time with her friends, exercising, and having quiet time. 

This habit is important for kids to master because it shows the importance of balancing their time on important things, not only on a single task. The chapter talks about using the mind, body, soul, and heart throughout the day. Kids will become happier when they learn to balance using their hearts, bodies, souls, and minds in their everyday lives. 

We use our hearts when we spend time with our loved ones. We use our bodies when we exercise and do physical activities. We use our soul when we do something quiet inside that refreshes us inside. And we use our minds when we read and learn something new. 

Application at home…

• Tala usually checks if there is one thing that she did not use yet. One time, she invited me to read a book because she said she did not use her mind yet. 
• Tala connected this habit to their daily schedule in school. She said that she now understands that their daily school schedule consists of outdoor play (body), story time (mind), playing with friends during recess (heart) and mindfulness activities (soul).

Masters of this habit say:

• I take care of my body by exercising, getting enough sleep, and eating right. 
• I spend time with my family and friends.
• I learn new things every day.
• I find some time to be quiet and reflect about my day.

In a Nutshell

The 7 Habits of Happy Kids is instrumental to Tala’s emotional growth. Through this book, we, not just her, are reminded that to be happy, we should take charge of our own joys, work on our goals, have a win-win attitude, collaborate with others, and lead a balanced life. 

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